We’ve been getting fat with resentment. You complained of details - of small gestures unreturned. But you know me too well, and I know you too well, and I know that these complaints were part of the underlying problem. You could fit a brick wall in-between the distance I made. I lost what I had for you. How do I explain that? How do I give you the solace that I want to? I cannot. I can just say what I had for you is now lost. Why was I reluctant to end it? To sing the final dirge of what we built? To end what the past four years I was trying to create? I try to be careful- think before I decide, and weigh the consequences. Or perhaps I was scared to decide wrongfully. Nevertheless my careful consideration was for you. How do I end my first love? Where is the book? In what section can I find it? For all the volumes I have in my library there was nothing close to a manual. Keep what I gave you. I meant what I said about you when I said it in the past, and I mean what I say now- that I cannot be with you.